So, on Friday, October 17 around 4:15pm my computer crashed. My hard drive died, and I lost everything. My pictures are gone, my music (which I actually paid for and didn't illegally download unlike most of the world) is gone. All of my files are gone. The computer people basically said that my computer was so dead that they couldn't retrieve a single bit of information. I was given the opportunity for them to send it to a professional retrieval company. However, they said that the average price for their services was around $500. YIKES. Unfortunately, I didn't have that much important information on my computer to make it worth $500.
The major problem to getting it fixed is that I lost (misplaced) my install disks. So, now I had to get new install discs from Apple, which they're mailing here to UNI. Once I get those I'm going to go get my computer and install my operating system and begin again. I will hopefully find a way to transfer my music to my new hard drive. Luckily, I only temporarily deactivated my facebook. So, I can get pictures off of there. It still stinks that some pictures I put on my computer but not on facebook will be lost forever. AND Josh's computer has been cut-off from ResNet due to a virus infection. So, I would love to use his computer to do my corporation Finance homework, but I can't.
On that note, if you thought I de-friended you on facebook, don't worry. I just deactivated it because it was more of a distraction than anything. Once Intermediate Accounting 1 & 2 are over and some other classes, I hope to be able to reactivate it.
Goodnight
Jen~ If you read this before Sunday, October 26th...Josh is home for the weekend.
Friday, October 24
Thursday, October 16
Officially
That officially makes it 3. Wells Fargo, KPMG, and Principal.
Officially, I am leaving tomorrow at 5:45pm to go on retreat. I don't know how it will go. I have a secret that I am not supposed to tell. It's hard, I'm not good at it, but I must keep it a secret. I am excited, nervous, elated, scared, etc. I just want to hug someone but I can't because that may give it away. On the other hand, retreat can go either REALLY well or REALLY poorly. We can either have a re-bonding time, or a 24 hour period where we pick at eachothers personality traits that don't mesh with ours. I don't know what it will be like compared to last year. Us girls semi got along, but the boys were able to take our dislikes for each other and focus it on them. We shall see.
Officially, I am going to miss some one on one time with Josh. He may or may not be going home. I only saw him for less than an hour today. I miss him. I realized earlier this week one day that I had only seen him at lunch and we hadn't talked at all other than that. May I also point out that lunch is not a high quality talking time for Josh and I. Mainly I am quiet and he jokes around with everyone else. Which brings me to another part of my life that is making me kind of upset and sad.
When it comes to Aaron Feeney, I thought he was pretty relaxed and someone that had a calm, non-dramatic personality. For the past 3 weeks at the VERY least, he hasn't talked to me, he won't say hi to me. I'm frustrated because I didn't do anything. No, we were never truly good friends. However, I thought we were the kind of friends that could joke and hang out together in a large group. Unfortunately, those times have come and gone. I don't know when they disappeared or why, but I feel guilty that it was something I did and didn't know about. I don't think he's a horrible person, and I've asked him if he was upset at me, no answer. *sigh*
I miss home. I never really have missed home during college except when Josh was in Des Moines and I missed him. I really really really want to go home. I need Thanksgiving Break to get here. I need time to breathe and become a person again. A person that isn't consumed with the frustrations of other people or classes. A person that can say, "I am going to go here and do what I want, when I want; and if I change my mind, oh well!" To close my door, is not enough anymore. To go to ROTH is not an escape anymore. I need to get to Des Moines, to my home, to the family I love (for the majority of time). I want to shop. While that isn't probably the best "want," it's something I am excited for and I don't have to plan it around other events and commitments. It's like my "me" time although I hope to be with atleast 2 other people. Depending on my mom's work schedule, I may ask if she wants to go, because I miss her.
My dad came up here to Cedar Falls tonight to bring my winter clothes and other items I needed. My mom was going to come up next week. However, I really wanted sweatpants by retreat so I didn't have to sleep in shorts. I know my mom was really upset about that. She won't tell anyone, but you could tell in her voice when I told her that Dad was coming up that she was looking forward to it. She was like "Oh, your Dad didn't tell me that. How come?" and I explained why. She was like "Ok, that makes sense, well, I will just come up some other time." She has never said anything about wanting to come to visit before. I have always been what they call "their independent child" and right now I am so homesick. I've never been this way before and it's catching me off guard. I need to focus, pull myself together, and go sleep.
Officially, I am leaving tomorrow at 5:45pm to go on retreat. I don't know how it will go. I have a secret that I am not supposed to tell. It's hard, I'm not good at it, but I must keep it a secret. I am excited, nervous, elated, scared, etc. I just want to hug someone but I can't because that may give it away. On the other hand, retreat can go either REALLY well or REALLY poorly. We can either have a re-bonding time, or a 24 hour period where we pick at eachothers personality traits that don't mesh with ours. I don't know what it will be like compared to last year. Us girls semi got along, but the boys were able to take our dislikes for each other and focus it on them. We shall see.
Officially, I am going to miss some one on one time with Josh. He may or may not be going home. I only saw him for less than an hour today. I miss him. I realized earlier this week one day that I had only seen him at lunch and we hadn't talked at all other than that. May I also point out that lunch is not a high quality talking time for Josh and I. Mainly I am quiet and he jokes around with everyone else. Which brings me to another part of my life that is making me kind of upset and sad.
When it comes to Aaron Feeney, I thought he was pretty relaxed and someone that had a calm, non-dramatic personality. For the past 3 weeks at the VERY least, he hasn't talked to me, he won't say hi to me. I'm frustrated because I didn't do anything. No, we were never truly good friends. However, I thought we were the kind of friends that could joke and hang out together in a large group. Unfortunately, those times have come and gone. I don't know when they disappeared or why, but I feel guilty that it was something I did and didn't know about. I don't think he's a horrible person, and I've asked him if he was upset at me, no answer. *sigh*
I miss home. I never really have missed home during college except when Josh was in Des Moines and I missed him. I really really really want to go home. I need Thanksgiving Break to get here. I need time to breathe and become a person again. A person that isn't consumed with the frustrations of other people or classes. A person that can say, "I am going to go here and do what I want, when I want; and if I change my mind, oh well!" To close my door, is not enough anymore. To go to ROTH is not an escape anymore. I need to get to Des Moines, to my home, to the family I love (for the majority of time). I want to shop. While that isn't probably the best "want," it's something I am excited for and I don't have to plan it around other events and commitments. It's like my "me" time although I hope to be with atleast 2 other people. Depending on my mom's work schedule, I may ask if she wants to go, because I miss her.
My dad came up here to Cedar Falls tonight to bring my winter clothes and other items I needed. My mom was going to come up next week. However, I really wanted sweatpants by retreat so I didn't have to sleep in shorts. I know my mom was really upset about that. She won't tell anyone, but you could tell in her voice when I told her that Dad was coming up that she was looking forward to it. She was like "Oh, your Dad didn't tell me that. How come?" and I explained why. She was like "Ok, that makes sense, well, I will just come up some other time." She has never said anything about wanting to come to visit before. I have always been what they call "their independent child" and right now I am so homesick. I've never been this way before and it's catching me off guard. I need to focus, pull myself together, and go sleep.
Wednesday, October 15
KPMG
No internship.
Just an offer for the leadership program which is a 2 day program during the summer to learn more about KPMG.
Darn it.
Just an offer for the leadership program which is a 2 day program during the summer to learn more about KPMG.
Darn it.
Sunday, October 12
Homecoming
Homecoming...is over! I personally do not like homecoming. "Why?" you ask. Because I am an RA. Homecoming is the weekend where people from Iowa and Iowa State come to UNI to party and RA's are basically on lockdown to be the fun police all weekend. This year was a zillion times better. However, I am tired. I really didnt accomplish anything until last night when I cleaned my room. Thankfully, Thursday night I did my quiz online that's due tomorrow. But nonetheless, this weekend being homecoming meant I got less sleep than I normally do and I spent more time walking the building.
Anywho.
This week includes a Non-Big 4 CPA Firm Event on Monday, Intermediate test on Tuesday, House Dinner on Thursday, Intermediate test on Thursday, Back Up on Thursday, Retreat and maybe a Cost Test on Friday.
I am officially not going home until Wednesday, November 26th. I will then be eating, shopping, and relaxing in that exact order. I do believe I am going to drag Josh along for shopping the day after Thanksgiving unless he is working, and I hope he isn't because I don't want to know how I drive at 4am. Plus, last year he called me and was basically my alarm.
My mom is probably going to come up here on the 21st of October to bring stuff from home. She has two nights off. So, she'll probably sleep during some of the day on Tuesday the 21st, drive up here, chill in my room while I'm at class, spend the night in my room, and then I don't know what on Wednesday (probably drive back).
Ok, so now that I have sufficiently rambled about nothing-ness, I am going to probably see whats on TV and watch it.
Anywho.
This week includes a Non-Big 4 CPA Firm Event on Monday, Intermediate test on Tuesday, House Dinner on Thursday, Intermediate test on Thursday, Back Up on Thursday, Retreat and maybe a Cost Test on Friday.
I am officially not going home until Wednesday, November 26th. I will then be eating, shopping, and relaxing in that exact order. I do believe I am going to drag Josh along for shopping the day after Thanksgiving unless he is working, and I hope he isn't because I don't want to know how I drive at 4am. Plus, last year he called me and was basically my alarm.
My mom is probably going to come up here on the 21st of October to bring stuff from home. She has two nights off. So, she'll probably sleep during some of the day on Tuesday the 21st, drive up here, chill in my room while I'm at class, spend the night in my room, and then I don't know what on Wednesday (probably drive back).
Ok, so now that I have sufficiently rambled about nothing-ness, I am going to probably see whats on TV and watch it.
Friday, September 26
Friday, September 19
A Special Day: September 19
Today is Leeanne Finley's birthday. She turns 21 today! I miss her and hope that she has an amazing birthday.
Also, my grandparents are coming to take Josh and I out to dinner tonight. It will be an interesting night.
I am greatly stressed. I have/had a resident who was dealing with many many issues (alcoholism, bipolar depression, nonacceptance by her friends, etc). I thought that she was beginning to sort them out. However, Thursday she went home. She hasn't been back since and tonight I was informed by one of her friends that she is withdrawing from UNI. I know I can't become invested in this one girl. But at the same time I feel like I should have done more. I have the thoughts of "Would she have stayed if I did this one thing differently?" "Did I push her too hard to go to the counseling center?" I just feel as though I failed her.
I am also getting sick thanks to Ryan, and Josh, and Feeney, and Phil. Even though Phil swears that I got them all sick without physically being sick...I am now getting sick. What I also don't understand is how Phil can blame all of this crap on me when the only time I ever see Josh is at lunch, some dinners, and then the weekend. Whereas the other attached guys in the apartment see their girlfriends every night and are able to hang out with them every night. And Josh and I still get crap from Phil? Explain to me how this makes any sense at all?
I'm taking this weekend off. I really want to go home and see my parents and get all of my clothing, because I have NO sweatpants. But I run into the problem of losing valuable time if I go home. I am super duper stressed with the amount of work I have to do for classes along with the amount I have to do for my job. So, going home on the weekends, my prime study time and catch up time, doesn't seem feasible at all. BUT I really want my sweatpants and all of my other clothes REALLY bad! I just don't know what I am going to do. Plus, I need to get an internship for this summer. Stress, stress, and more stress. What do you do with all of it?
As I continue ranting, raving, and being completely sporadic...I realized how much I dislike shopping alone today. I kind of always tried to avoid going shopping by myself. Today however, I did go by myself, and I felt like a loner and an idiot. I also was not approached by a single sales associate and personally that is a really low blow to my self esteem. While my self esteem currently is not very high due to weight gain, this was not helpful one bit. I just don't understand it. I walk into a store and the lady doesn't say hi or anything. 2 girls walk in about 15 minutes after me and get greeted by the same girl almost immediately. Do I look weird or unapproachable? I don't think so. The job I am in 24/7 requires me to appear approachable and open to others, and I would like to think that I am that way.
Last thing, wow is the only word to explain what is going on in the world. I don't watch the news (I don't have time) but I do hear about the financial world through my Corporation Finance professor who owns his own investment firm. Lehman Brothers, Merrill Lynch, AIG...REALLY? My professor has started out ranting about the financial world crumbling before our eyes. And every day he keeps saying "This US financial crisis situation has not been seen since the stock market crash in the 1930's" As he says this, especially on the first day he started ranting, I thought to myself, "Well, what a way to start out a class...saying we're in the Great Depression (pretty much) again!"
Goodnight. It's almost 2 and I should be in bed.
Thursday, September 4
Stress
Stress is becoming something that consumes me. While I love the weekends, they are no becoming filled with stress; and that freaks me out!
Classes are running me into the ground. AND I have my job. Josh and I have become meal dates. That's basically the only time I see him. It's difficult. Phil actually said that Josh is the least whipped boyfriend. I know that's like nothing to anyone else, but for me that's huge. Phil has always said Josh is whipped and I don't think he's ever appreciated or accepted our relationship...aka we just don't mesh well.
So what's my plan to fix all this? Well, to start with I'm taking Saturday night off. I won't be going anywhere but I also won't be responding to anything, should it happen. Will this completely fix it? No. I have a boat load of homework to do and I have tests coming up. It will hopefully help out with the stress load though considering that school work and issues with my job are the culprits of it all!
Classes are running me into the ground. AND I have my job. Josh and I have become meal dates. That's basically the only time I see him. It's difficult. Phil actually said that Josh is the least whipped boyfriend. I know that's like nothing to anyone else, but for me that's huge. Phil has always said Josh is whipped and I don't think he's ever appreciated or accepted our relationship...aka we just don't mesh well.
So what's my plan to fix all this? Well, to start with I'm taking Saturday night off. I won't be going anywhere but I also won't be responding to anything, should it happen. Will this completely fix it? No. I have a boat load of homework to do and I have tests coming up. It will hopefully help out with the stress load though considering that school work and issues with my job are the culprits of it all!
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