Today is Leeanne Finley's birthday. She turns 21 today! I miss her and hope that she has an amazing birthday.
Also, my grandparents are coming to take Josh and I out to dinner tonight. It will be an interesting night.
I am greatly stressed. I have/had a resident who was dealing with many many issues (alcoholism, bipolar depression, nonacceptance by her friends, etc). I thought that she was beginning to sort them out. However, Thursday she went home. She hasn't been back since and tonight I was informed by one of her friends that she is withdrawing from UNI. I know I can't become invested in this one girl. But at the same time I feel like I should have done more. I have the thoughts of "Would she have stayed if I did this one thing differently?" "Did I push her too hard to go to the counseling center?" I just feel as though I failed her.
I am also getting sick thanks to Ryan, and Josh, and Feeney, and Phil. Even though Phil swears that I got them all sick without physically being sick...I am now getting sick. What I also don't understand is how Phil can blame all of this crap on me when the only time I ever see Josh is at lunch, some dinners, and then the weekend. Whereas the other attached guys in the apartment see their girlfriends every night and are able to hang out with them every night. And Josh and I still get crap from Phil? Explain to me how this makes any sense at all?
I'm taking this weekend off. I really want to go home and see my parents and get all of my clothing, because I have NO sweatpants. But I run into the problem of losing valuable time if I go home. I am super duper stressed with the amount of work I have to do for classes along with the amount I have to do for my job. So, going home on the weekends, my prime study time and catch up time, doesn't seem feasible at all. BUT I really want my sweatpants and all of my other clothes REALLY bad! I just don't know what I am going to do. Plus, I need to get an internship for this summer. Stress, stress, and more stress. What do you do with all of it?
As I continue ranting, raving, and being completely sporadic...I realized how much I dislike shopping alone today. I kind of always tried to avoid going shopping by myself. Today however, I did go by myself, and I felt like a loner and an idiot. I also was not approached by a single sales associate and personally that is a really low blow to my self esteem. While my self esteem currently is not very high due to weight gain, this was not helpful one bit. I just don't understand it. I walk into a store and the lady doesn't say hi or anything. 2 girls walk in about 15 minutes after me and get greeted by the same girl almost immediately. Do I look weird or unapproachable? I don't think so. The job I am in 24/7 requires me to appear approachable and open to others, and I would like to think that I am that way.
Last thing, wow is the only word to explain what is going on in the world. I don't watch the news (I don't have time) but I do hear about the financial world through my Corporation Finance professor who owns his own investment firm. Lehman Brothers, Merrill Lynch, AIG...REALLY? My professor has started out ranting about the financial world crumbling before our eyes. And every day he keeps saying "This US financial crisis situation has not been seen since the stock market crash in the 1930's" As he says this, especially on the first day he started ranting, I thought to myself, "Well, what a way to start out a class...saying we're in the Great Depression (pretty much) again!"
Goodnight. It's almost 2 and I should be in bed.
